Brandy’s Story
It’s hard to move forward when you don’t understand what you’re feeling and why. When changes in life left Brandy struggling with boundaries and her emotions, she went back to counseling.
Brandy’s Story Transcript
It’s Brandy, and I’m a public school educator. I work in public education. I’m from the greater Nashville area. I would definitely call this area home; I have lived in the Middle Tennessee area with my husband for the last 15 years.
The current time of life that I’m in, it was not my first go-around with counseling. My husband and I participated in pre-marriage counseling, and we had a really good experience. Being married is hard work, so we sought support in the early parts of our marriage again since we had a good experience, which was beneficial for both of us.
I personally have dealt with a lot of high stress at work and then experienced some changes in my personal life. I was having trouble identifying my emotions, regulating my emotions, and really setting healthy boundaries for myself. I really wasn’t sure where to start, but I had two prior positive experiences with counseling, and I thought, you know, that is at least a starting place. That led me to reach back out.
My counselor has done a great job of meeting me where I am. I’ve needed different things at different times. Sometimes I need someone to listen and validate my feelings, help me process an emotion, or help me understand why I might be feeling a certain way. Sometimes I need a tool or a strategy to move forward with something in my life.
As an example, I was having trouble getting started with a long-term project that had been an end goal for me. We talked about the performance anxiety that comes with some of that, and I was struggling and didn’t know where to start. We talked about how getting started is the hardest part, and normally once you’re started, it’s easier to keep going. So, we talked through some strategies, things that I could start easily, like maybe just organizing a space. Once I got started, it was easier to keep going.
It’s not always this big, heavy, burdensome thing that I bring to the table. She meets me where I am, and sometimes it’s lighter than that. I feel like she really sees me as a person. She really understands me. I definitely feel like when those unexpected life things happen to me, I feel more in control to the extent that I am in control. I feel confident in my decision-making. I feel like I understand where my decision-making kind of comes from and what drives those decisions, so I make the best decision I can in the moment based on what’s important to me.
Sometimes knowing what to do next in a situation can be difficult because, as a person, you haven’t really articulated what it is that’s important to you and where to make that decision from. If I’m making decisions that are aligned with who I am as a person and what I believe, that is going to give me the greatest amount of peace. Talking through some of those things has been very helpful for me.
When I started seeing my counselor, one of my goals was to not feel like I was on this emotional roller coaster. While those things happen and I still have those feelings, I’m better able to say what I need when I need something, advocate for myself, and take care of myself. I started meeting in person and then we moved to telehealth. Telehealth I find to be super convenient, especially with my work schedule sometimes being inconsistent. I can pop on wherever I have Internet access, which is really helpful. I think if people are in that position and can try telehealth, it does make it super accessible. Anywhere with an Internet access point, you can get on and talk, and I have found it to be just as beneficial.
A lot of times we think that it’s not a good time, or it’s not that serious, or not right now. I really think those are things that keep people from moving forward in getting help. There’s no right way to show up or come. There’s no competition of problems. It’s not that your problem’s not big enough or something like that. Sometimes the sessions are really lighthearted and it’s minor stuff, and sometimes it’s heavier and more serious. There’s no right or wrong way. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, that’s what it’s about. You need someone to see you and accept you for who you are, the way you show up, without any judgment. Then it’s for you.
That is what this has given me: the ability to advocate for myself, say what I need, set healthy boundaries, and just be a better version of me. There are life experiences that everybody has and goes through that you can’t anticipate or predict, and there’s no right or wrong thing to seek counseling for. If it’s for me, it’s for everybody!