Slayder’s Story

Slayder didn’t think he needed counseling, but his wife knew from experience that it could help. After she passed away from cancer, he decided to give it a try. He came to Insight Counseling Centers for grief but discovered there was so much more going on inside of him. Counseling opened a world of possibilities for his life after grief.

Slayder’s Story Transcript

My name is Slayder Betts. I live in Clarksville, Tennessee. I’m a mobile notary, I’m a pastor, and a chef, too, so there’s a lot that goes in my world. 

I came to Insight after my wife passed away. She had cancer. She actually was being counseled there as well, and so before she passed away, she said to me, “I’ve already set you up with a counselor. I think it’s gonna really help you with the grief that you’re going to be experiencing,” and she said, “I trust this counselor.” 

I was in a fix-it mode. You know, you just put your head down, you get the work done, do what you have to do. I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t think I needed counseling. That’s for sure. 

I guess when the grief actually settled in, I felt like, “Oh, I think I do need additional support. Why don’t I give it a try? If it doesn’t help me, I can always stop going.” And from the very first session I knew. I said, “This is why she came to Insight. This is why she chose Joshua, and I can definitely see how this is going to be beneficial for me.” And it was. 

I came for grief, but Joshua helped me to understand that my grief was also attached to other things and that I needed help sorting through those as well. And it helped me to slow down. It helped me to breathe. It helped me to process what was really going on inside of me. 

I didn’t realize how afraid I was of life and risking things that were necessary. So, I started a new business. That’s going really well right now. I’ve written two books behind my grief: one a poetry book and another kind of detailing my process of how I walked through grief and am walking through grief. 

I also relate better, even as a pastor, to those in my congregation. I can slow down and listen to what they have to say instead of just always having an answer immediately, just to let them be herd, to be seen, to be known. 

I would say don’t be afraid of trying. I would say that in my experience when I thought I didn’t need something, what helped me was, “If I go and it’s not helping me, I can always quit. I don’t have to be locked into something.” 

Finances were also a problem for me. I called, I told them about that. They put me on a sliding scale, which really helped me at the time. 

Growing up in a Christian household like I did and continue to do, you know, we were always taught counseling isn’t necessary because you have Jesus. And for me, I discovered that Jesus very much lived in my counselor in particular and helped me to face my own pain, deal with my own hurts, with Jesus. 

Overall, I stand as a better disciple of Jesus and as a better Christian as a result of having just talked to someone.