Stressful Habits
Written by Heather Fraser, LPC-MHSP
It happened again; you reflected on the past year and decided 2026 will be your year, the year to bring health, wellness, peace, community, hobbies, growth, and/or healing. And with that came goals to drink more water, eat three balanced meals a day, exercise more consistently, plan more social outings, journal daily, sleep better, or declutter your home, to name a few. My guess is that you had the purest intentions and were motivated to implement change, and life sent you some reality checks. Where did the time go? How can you accomplish all these things and still keep time for rest and recovery? Why are your S.M.A.R.T goals and new routines adding to your stress?
Let’s get into it!
To start, we need to understand what stress is, what it is NOT, and how it gets triggered.
The word stress is thrown around a lot these days and is often used synonymously with anxiety or panic. Stress is simply the body’s response, both physically and emotionally, to challenges or perceived threats (World Health Organization- stress) . When your brain perceives that something is challenging or threatening you, it sends signals to make you aware and prepares you to handle the perceived threat. These could include increased heart rate, racing thoughts, difficulty concentrating, fatigue, and even physical pain. When this lasts too long or is combined with other stressors, it can lead to clinical anxiety, or even panic. If you have a history of trauma or are experiencing multiple stressors at once, you will need to be especially aware of when your capacity to manage the stress signals is wearing thin.
The tricky part is that we are complex human beings, with not just physical needs, but emotional, social, intellectual, and spiritual ones as well. This means when we set a goal with the intent to manage one of our needs (ex. Starting a diet to manage health), it often challenges us in other areas (our confidence, comfort, or sense of belonging). This dissonance can lead to procrastination, avoidance, or even self-sabotaging of the initial goal. To be the most protective, your mind catches ALL the thoughts and feelings that COULD or MIGHT cause problems and prepares you to handle it.
Some experiences you should pay attention to are:
- Being overwhelmed at the amount of to-do items or the intensity of the projects before you
- Feeling burdened by the time it will take to accomplish your goals
- Having too many changes at once
- Feeling uncertain of the outcome of these goals or new habits
- Feeling overwhelmed with navigating a new normal (even if the new is objectively better)
- Feeling foreign in your new habits
- Carrying guilt, shame, or embarrassment for not doing things perfectly or missing a day
- Comparing yourself to others who seem to be managing their new habits like Olympians. (social media plays a huge role, but that’s a different blog post).
These experiences challenge our sense of security, self-esteem, and/or sense of safety. When many of these pile on top of one another, the initial warning signs of stress can quickly lead to more intense fear-based reactions and interfere with daily life.
What can we do about this?
First, acknowledge that feeling of stress (remember, that is just a warning signal) is a natural and protective response, so long as it is manageable. The presence of stress signals keeps us functioning in an ever-changing and complex world. Healthy levels of stress keep us on time for appointments, help us make deadlines for assignments, and generally provide structure for accomplishing what we want to accomplish. Hold space for the reality of being human.
Your brain is doing what it is trained to do when faced with a challenge, even when the challenge is self-imposed and motivated by positive values. It isn’t wrong to set goals for self-improvement. It does, however, require awareness to stay within your capacity for change.
Secondly, do your part to apply coping strategies when stress arises. Stop and take a deep breath to triage the situation. Make an action plan to reach the goals you have in mind. Talk through your experience with a trusted friend or family member. Engage in hobbies that bring joy and accomplishment to balance the unknown of changing things up.
This could also mean adjusting the goals you have to be more realistic about your current life structure and needs. Maybe working out at a gym 4x a week is not feasible with school drop offs, work events, and prior commitments- could that goal change to getting movement 4x a week instead? Perhaps decluttering a different part of the house every day (how did this trend start?) is too overwhelming- what if that changed to spending an hour every week decluttering the most needed areas? Maybe going from zero journaling to a paragraph a day is too quick of a shift- could you start with a word or sentence a day? Or maybe setting aside a half hour each week to get used to it? Then once the habit is set once a week, it is easier to add in another day rather than adding seven days at once.
Lastly, you need to assess if the stress is simply a warning sign or if there is something more happening. Did the stress signals lead to intense anxiety, panic attacks, or long-standing perfectionism? Are you experiencing panic attacks or other symptoms that are not manageable with your current coping strategies? Are you struggling to meet expectations at school or in the workforce? Is the stress of new change triggering trauma wounds? If your experience requires more support than your coping toolbox can address, it is important to talk to your doctor (to rule out any physical concerns) and reach out to a mental health professional. We would love to work with you here at Insight Counseling Centers — Call our intake desk at 615-383-2115 x100 for more information.
Key takeaways:
You are not broken for struggling with new habits.
Some stress is natural and beneficial!
Tools are available to reduce stress and reach the goals you have.
Heather Fraser, LPC-MHSP, helps clients heal from trauma, navigate life transitions, and manage stress and anxiety. She has appointments available at Insight’s office in the Donelson neighborhood of Nashville and through telehealth.