Stress Happens. Self‑Care Helps. Here’s How to Stick With It.
Written by Heather Fraser, LPC-MHSP
April is Stress Awareness Month, and has been since 1992!
You may be asking, “Who really needs to be made aware of stress? Aren’t we all keenly aware of its presence and impact?” We sure are, but humans tend to struggle with maintaining self-care and managing stress levels, so an annual reminder doesn’t hurt, does it? In fact, the American institute of Stress has a great deal of resources online if you’d like to read up on it.
Life keeps moving, regardless of an individual’s stress level. The bills keep coming, events keep being scheduled, holidays and family gathering keep rolling around, and we are continually expected to meet workplace deadlines. The earth keeps spinning on its axis. This leads to a constant push to get to the next event, and the next one, and then the one after that. The problem is there will always be another task, another deadline, another stressor. That is why it is important to continually engage in self-care tasks to prevent long-term impacts of stress on the mind and body.
What is self-care?
Self-care is a vague term. Often this term is used for special treatments like getting a manicure or getting a massage, but self-care at its core is simply caring for yourself. For the purpose of stress management, we will consider self-care as any task or activity that promotes health and well-being. The notions of health and well-being encompass a variety of categories including but not limited to exercise, nutrition, sleep, healthcare, social interactions, education, occupational growth, relaxation, financial stability, mental/emotional health, intellectual wellbeing, and spiritual connection. Needless to say, it’s difficult to stay on top of all these areas at once, which is another reason self-care is so hard to implement consistently. Our needs are fairly consistent, but the areas that need extra support keep changing!
Examples of self-care can be:
- Get a full night’s rest
- Eat nutrient dense foods and a balanced diet
- Do some sort of movement or exercise daily
- Stay hydrated!
- Avoid drugs and alcohol
- Take breaks throughout the day
- Engage in hobbies
- Keep up with preventative health and dental visits (mental health too!)
- Make and/or maintain a working budget
- Learn about an area of interest
- Talk to someone about what you are stressed about
- Hang out with people who fill your cup
- Engage in spiritual practices (meditation, prayer, worship, etc.)
No wonder self-care is hard to maintain. Look at how many things there are to keep track of! How do you even decide where to start?
My first recommendation is to take inventory of which areas of your life are MOST out of balance. If you tend to eat well, exercise, and sleep well you may not need to focus on Physical self-care but may benefit more from social or emotional self-care tasks.
If you are a social butterfly and feel exceptionally connected and supported, you may be able to put social self-care tasks to the side while focusing on improving sleep habits.
If you don’t know where to start and are overwhelmed with it all, you may benefit from talking to a professional who can help you determine what to focus on first.
A good reference tool is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow’s research led him to believe there were certain areas that should be prioritized to support basic functioning.
Maslow’s hierarchy prioritizes physiological needs first because those are the survival needs. After basic physical needs are met, Maslow suggests stabilizing safety needs, followed by needs that promote love and belonging, and finally self-esteem needs. Once these needs are met, Maslow would promote self-actualization.
Did I just spend 500 words telling you to take care of yourself? Yes. Because as lack-luster as that is, basic self-care is the foundation for functioning through stress. What you do consistently is what becomes habit, which can feel monotonous. But you can still find fun and excitement in the monotony!
Here are some ideas to make these repetitive self-care tasks more interesting and adventurous:
- Do them with friends! Things are more entertaining with friends. Collaborative efforts allow for accountability and maybe even a shenanigan or two.
- Have a dinner party where each guest is asked to bring a different food group.
- Join a book club, prayer group, etc.
- Use an app or habit tracker to track your streak. When you can see your progress in building a habit, you may feel rewarded quicker!
- Get creative with prompts for meals. For example, use 4 ingredients that start with the letter ‘T’; use at least 3 different color foods to make your meal; make recipes recommended by friends or family; See how many recipes you can make that use 3 similar ingredients; Match your meal with a theme of the day (this works well for holidays, sporting events, or celebrations)
- Involve play/laughter. It is easier to commit to doing something consistently when you enjoy yourself! Include humor and silliness wherever possible. Exercise doesn’t have to be boring; it can be a dance party! Shout “woohoo” when you finish a glass of water! Challenge yourself (and whichever friends are joining you) to use a different accent while ordering at a restaurant. Literally play board games or card games when taking breaks or winding down.
- Gamification – make the boring tasks part of a more exciting plot. When you go to bed on time 3 nights in a row, you’ve leveled up! Try to make that new recipe faster than an episode of your favorite show. Make the self-care task a race between you and your spouse or even try to beat your own record.
- Try new things! A new running route, a new recipe, a new bedtime meditation. Whatever the category, adding a new factor can make the experience feel different even if it is part of a daily task.
- Pair boring tasks with fun ones. Make that budget spreadsheet color-coded. Listen to music as you brush your hair or engage in other hygiene tasks. Watch an episode of your favorite show while you do your workout.
- Add a treat or reward! On your way home from your dental cleaning, grab a fun beverage at the local drive thru, or eat a meal at a favorite restaurant. Meet up with a friend for coffee while you’re already in town for that annual physical. Every week that you reach your sleep goal, put $5 towards that new movie you want to see.
Yes, self-care can be overwhelming, especially if stressors are high and schedules are busy. You don’t have to do it all perfectly. As I said in my post about habits, starting somewhere will get you going!
If, while reading this, you found yourself saying, “Well, I can’t do that because…” then meeting with a therapist can help you identify what’s keeping you stuck and how to move forward. Maybe you don’t feel that you’re worth taking care of. Maybe you believe you’re too short on time, money, and other resources. Maybe executive functioning – time management and focusing on tasks – is challenging for you. These are things a therapist helps you address in the safe and confidential environment of therapy.
We can’t prevent stressors from popping up, but we can learn self-care tools to protect against the effects of stress on our bodies, and we can encourage one another to use them.
Heather Fraser, LPC-MHSP, helps clients heal from trauma, navigate life transitions, and manage stress and anxiety. She has appointments available at Insight’s office in the Donelson neighborhood of Nashville and through telehealth.